day nine: reflections
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
-C.G. Jung
Did you ever think about getting pregnant and suddenly see pregnant women everywhere? Or consider a certain car and then there’s one on every corner? The outer world mirrors our inner states. We know our phones listen to us and then send us targeted ads but this isn’t new—the universe has been doing it since the beginning of time.
My mother tells a story of a family who relocated to a new town for work. On the outskirts of the town the family stopped to fill their gas tank. The attendant noticed the packed car and asked if they were moving to the town. Yes, we are. We’re a little nervous about it. What’s it like here? The attendant asked, Well, what was it like where you came from? The family was quick to respond, Actually, it wasn’t great. The people weren’t friendly. Neighbors kept to themselves. There wasn’t anything fun to do. The weather sucked. Yeah, I guess you could say we’re looking forward to a new beginning. The attendant said, I hate to break it to you, but it’s the same here. A little while later another family pulled into the station with a packed car and the attendant asked the same question. New in town? And they answered, Yes, we’re moving here for work. We’re so excited, what’s it like here? Again the attendant asked the same question, What was it like where you came from? And they answered, It was so wonderful. The community helped each other. The weather was great. And we loved our home. We were sad to leave but couldn’t say no to this opportunity. The attendant said, Don’t worry, my friend. It’s the same here.
The story illustrates the notion that wherever you go, there you are. I often see this happen in my life. The same issue will appear in a romantic relationship, at work and with a friend. Maybe it has to do with not speaking up or not feeling appreciated. Has this ever happened to you—the same issue showing up everywhere? It can feel like the universe is messing with us. How can all these things possibly be happening at the same time? In those moments, life can feel unkind. That’s when it’s a good time to look for patterns because life is actually doing us a service—asking us to pay attention to a theme by presenting it over and over until we take notice. Only by seeing it can we start to transform it.
On the flip side, when we notice the narrative in our head and rewrite it, the outer world can show up in a different way.
Reflective Journal Prompts
Write about an experience where you kept noticing a recurring pattern or theme showing up in your life. What was asking for your attention? What needed to shift or change?
As we look around at the world right now, what is being reflected about our inner states of mind? Prior to the pandemic, in what areas of your life were you already feeling unsafe? Restricted? Vulnerable? Alone or lonely?
Discussion Prompts
Share the story of the family who are new in town with a friend and see what they think/feel about it.
Suggested Action
Notice any synchronicities in your day. Could be a meaningful song or a contact from a person you recently thought about. For children, play a game of mirroring them. This could be matching movements or words or sounds.
Further Reading
If you’re in need of beauty, here’s a poem that seemed timely.
In the Middle of Human Invention
In the middle of human invention
I took my sorry head out of its kingdom of news
and went into the sun that was the chief
of all elements. I walked warm and unthinking
through every green field. Fed as if with good
bread and wine, the hours followed and shouted.
We were a long, ridiculous, happy parade.
For once, my warring city-states slept.
For once, the workaday world lived beyond prediction.
The sun pressed its warm thumb on the earth
while I pulled my mind behind me like a red wagon
and lived a whole day without lie or desire.