kindess & compassion
Photo: Alexandra DeFurio
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
-Dalai Lama
Last year I attended a Pema Chödrön retreat at Omega Institute. There were many meaningful moments, but the biggest takeaway was this line, Compassion is a relationship between equals. Compassion is not charity. It’s not pity. It’s searching inside ourselves for the places where we are also limited, ignorant, flawed, fill-in-the-blank,—before pointing a finger outward. It’s meeting another person from a place of likeness rather than from blame and judgment.
The When is Now first started as an invitation for us to come into the present. Then it evolved to become something that would bring people together in communication, community and connection. It was my response to a world that had become hateful and divided. Angry and full of fear. When we’re scared, we often look for someone or something to blame.
But I believe we can do better than blame. Holding someone accountable for their actions is not the same thing as name-calling, shaming, humiliating and finger-pointing. We have every right to feel disappointed in certain leaders’ and people’s words and actions, but if we use equally hateful words about them, how are we different? I invite us all to start with ourselves. Find your voice, use your words, but use them with kindness and compassion.
Journal Prompts
Identify where you possess a similar flaw or characteristic as someone who triggers you.
Write about where you are currently placing blame.
Suggested Actions
Watch Brené Brown’s great video on blame.
Spend one day without saying anything negative about anyone or anything.